Wednesday, January 28, 2009

El Secreto Needs YOUR VOTE!

This Sunday on HOUR 42, Peter Pixie and I will be playing Fantasy Hero Football -- and I need your help fielding a team!

The rules are as such: PP said he'll use heroes from the DC Universe, and I get to cherry-pick from any other company. Good times for me, no?

With so many characters available, I wanted to open up the process and solicit help picking the right players -- and, today, the right coach. Here are the contenders:

Norman Osborn (Marvel)
I know what you're thinking: How could The Green Goblin even be an option, right? That's the beauty of it -- right now he's the biggest hero in the Marvel U.! Formerly the head of the Thunderbolts, Stormin' Norman made himself out to be the key to Earth's victory over the Secret Invasion, an act which gets him influence over the entire superhero population, including his own team of Avengers. So, who better to run my show than the guy who's effectively running the 616?

Pluses: Coaching philosophy could be Vince Lombardi on Super-Serum
Minuses: Coaching philosophy could also be Vince McMahon on Super-Serum

Rupert Giles (Dark Horse)
An assemblage of power needs wisdom to direct it, and good ol' Giles has plenty of that, as well as the magical know-how to tip the scales if need be -- and the occasional bit of ruthlessness to know when to use it. Unlike Osborn, though, Giles is less likely to piss people off. And much less likely to take all the credit when the game's won.

Pluses: Experience managing and motivating the most problematic personnel on Earth -- teenage girls.
Minuses: Prior disdain for American football might make him dismiss the very idea of a Big Game as "rubbish."

Reed Richards (Marvel)
A good coach needs to know his or her x's and o's. Why not go with a guy who knows x's, o's, y's, z's and any other variable you can come up with? Mr. Fantastic might be the candidate who "gets" the game the best, not just as a series of applications and probability exercises, but as a game. He'd be a teacher and a fan, and possibly the most heroic coach I could find.

Pluses: "Elastic consciousness" could give team a living playbook, creating new schemes on the fly, confounding any defense.
Minuses: Can a coach be too smart for his own team? It might be the case here.

The Doctor (IDW)
How about nearly 1,000 years of experience leading the squad? How about knowledge spanning a whole cosmos? How about creativity that probably rivals Richards'? How about a cute female assistant coach? How about the ability to pluck plays from anywhere in time? How about the ultimate motivator?

Pluses: Combines Giles' wisdom with Richards' theoretical knowledge, topped off by his own innate creativity, curiosity and tenacity.
Minuses: Might share Giles' disdain for American football, or be put off if his Companion fancies one of the players.

So there you have the nominees. Just vote on the handy-dandy gadget on the page and I'll announce the results Sunday night on HOUR 42!

-- ES